Rejected...But Not Abandoned

 

 

"For this is the message you have heard from the beginning:  You should love one another. Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother.  And why did he murder him?  Because his own actions were evil and his brother's righteous.  Do not be surprised, my brothers and sisters, if the world hates you."  I John 3:13

We all want to be loved.  No healthy person has a fervent desire to be loathed and hated.  We are all built with an innate desire to be loved and accepted.  In fact, we feel this way so strongly, that one of the most hurtful things we will experience in life, is being rejected.

People who are rejected by parents, grandparents, siblings, teachers, spouses, etc., often struggle with low self-esteem and emotional pain. We want to be liked from childhood on up.  Our desire to be loved and accepted causes us to respond to parental disapproval and discipline.  We want Mama and Daddy to smile at us, so we endure the dreaded broccoli and share our  toys.  As we age, the same desire to please remains.  And to some extent, this desire is a positive thing.

So when does it pose a problem?  Our desire to please becomes a problem when we must do it at the expense of obeying God or being true to ourselves.  There is nothing noble about pleasing someone else when it leaves you feeling cheap and dirty. There is something wrong with making someone else happy at the expense of our conscious.  So what do we do when we try our best and others hate or dislike us?

We have to give the hurt of rejection over to God.  Jesus fully understands what it is like to be rejected, misunderstood and betrayed.  He was given over to be murdered by one of his closest (and chosen) companions.  He did nothing wrong but he was despised, ridiculed and murdered.  If we follow in his footsteps, we are likely to experience similar problems.

Early in my adult life, I had a couple of friends misunderstand and judge me.   In that instance (though certainly not always) my heart was motivated by pure intentions, but I was being accused of doing it from a "look at me" attitude.  I remember laying in the altar at church telling the Lord, "They hate me and I have not done anything wrong."  If I have ever heard the Lord, I heard him say, "They hated me, too, and they killed me... Let my approval of you be enough."

Wow.  I was so humbled by that, that I cried out in repentance.  Who am I to whine because a couple of ladies disliked me, when the sinless Lamb of God- King of the Universe- was slain?

The pain and sting of rejection will always be there, but the Lord can give us the grace to walk though it without sinning, if we just turn to him for help.

Dear Lord, forgive me for making it about me.  Help me to be concerned with your approval and not that of the world.  Help me to develop tunnel vision.  In Jesus' Name.  Amen.

Sherri